It's Okay, Mom!

One of the things I love most about being a teacher is running into my students out in public. This is especially true of a middle school teacher, because I have between 120-150 students at any given time, so it really does up the odds I will spot one in my local Target or Publix run.

The student's reaction is what's so much fun, because they sometimes are just so happy to see me (and I think, why aren't you this happy in school to see me?) and sometimes they look freaked out, like they can't believe I was allowed out of school. Even though by 6th grade they know I don't really live at school, it's still in lodged firmly in their minds as a possibility.

But the absolute best part is their parents, and even more specifically, their mom. Parents wear varying looks of suspicion as their child talks with me. They don't want their kids to know someone as well as I obviously know them without them being aware of who I am as well. They always get this happy expression on their faces, and continually glance back and forth from me and their child, afraid to miss one word. It might make this whole thing easier on mom if the child would tell them who I am, but they never do.

I know it also might have something to do with the fact that I look pretty young. I'm not old, but I'm also not so young any more (I just had my birthday earlier this week, so I'm really feeling the not-so-young vibe) but I still look as if I might be in college, or even high school, depending on what I'm wearing. Moms just don't want their 6th grade babies to know anyone that age.

As I say goodbye, and I'll see you later, the mom gets a look a look in her eye that says as clearly as words, "You will not see my child later, or ever again, you crazy person!" I always walk away slowly and listen carefully. Invariably, I hear mom hiss, "Who was that?!" And my darling students always have this casual, I'm-so-cool-because-I-know-something-you-don't tone as they reply, "That's just my teacher, Mom."

It's okay, Mom! I'm not a sociopath after your child! I'm the one who makes you sign that infernal reading log every single week of your child's school year. And I'm the one who gave your child that F! Don't you wish you knew that while I was standing there?