It Breaks My Heart

Sometimes, stories that I hear about my students (or from my students) completely breaks my heart.

Things I'm not sure that I could deal with, stuff that would break most adults, stuff of my worst nightmares, and these kids just have to deal with it. Since they're so very young, they can't run away, they can't break off hurtful relationships, they can't do much of anything.

It really, really breaks my heart.

Some of my students this year are products of families so messed up, they would be too messed up for those daytime TV shows.

I've had sad cases before in previous years. A kid who was slowly going crazy, and was eventually diagnosed with a mental disorder (one that, fortunately, was helped by medication). A kid whose parents were fighting over him, so much so that we had to watch him wherever he was, so the other parent wouldn't kidnap him. A girl who was being abused and removed from her home, but returned to her parents numerous times before finally having the move be permanent. And others I can't think of right now.

But this year seems to have more than the fair share of kids who have big issues in their lives.

We had a parent conference recently, and I could hardly sit and listen to the parent telling us what's going on in the family. It was just awful, and my poor student has to deal with it; has no other option.

It's almost too much sometimes for me to bear. I want to take these kids home; raise them as my own. I'd quickly have dozens of children hanging around my house, and want to bring home more.

I love my job, and I love how I can sometimes be the bright spot in an otherwise dark young life, but it hurts to be able to do so little for these kids. I don't have money enough to make a huge difference for them. I don't have the authority to stop their parents from taking out their messed up lives on their innocent children.

All I can do is listen when they talk, and try to show them that they are loved; that the whole world isn't like what they're dealing with right now.

But it seems like so little; not much help for them. And it's just so hard.