Common Sense No Longer Common?

Why on earth do parents let their children see movies that I would not see? Movies rated PG-13 should not be common fare for my students, as they are... not 13 yet.

Unless there is a redeeming feature of the movie (like important historical content), or if the parent has already seen it and was confused about why it's rated PG-13, 6th graders shouldn't watch. (For instance, when I first saw Ever After with Drew Barrymore, it was rated PG-13, but when it was released on video, it was revised to be rated PG).

They just shouldn't.

They are CHILDREN, who already live in a world that forces them to grow up way, way too fast. They don't need this pictures and ideas and words in their heads, especially when their minds are not mature enough to process them properly.

For instance, there simply is not very many students in my class who has not seen Epic Movie. This movie is rated PG-13 for these reasons: crude and sexual humor, language and some comic violence (according to www.cara.org, which is the Classification and Ratings Administration, which gives reasons for moving ratings).

Why would you want your 11- or barely 12-year-old to see anything with sexual humor? They are babies!

Another movie most has seen is 300, which is rated R for these reasons: graphic battle sequences throughout, some sexuality and nudity. Another winner for your 6th grader.

How about Scary Movie? Rated R: for strong crude sexual humor, language, drug use and violence. Most of the kids have seen one or all of these movies.

I am just a little depressed thinking about this. It's bad enough the life some of the these kids are forced to live, and things at home and at school they're forced to see. Why give them even more things to worry about and clutter up their minds?

I tell them I don't think it's a good idea for them to watch that type of movie, but they then go on to tell me what else they've seen, and it just makes me sadder... they have seen harmless movies (like the recent Prince Caspian or Alvin and the Chipmunks) but they have also seen movies I won't watch.

It's just really sad to think about...

Really sad.

I'm Confused...

I am very confused about something; I just don't get it.

Why would a parent contact a teacher right before Spring Break, when grades are due before we leave, and ask what their child can do over the break to improve their grade?

Now, maybe if the parent didn't know when grades are due, that might make more sense. But as we had just had a parent conference, emails exchanged that begins to border on epic, and phone calls, all mentioning that grades are due before the break, it wasn't news.

This particular child had been doing nothing all 9 weeks. Nothing. So much nothing that she only had a 26%, and honestly, my absolute lowest kid (who is not capable of much, though the sweetest thing you'll ever meet) has managed a 69% this 9 weeks, so it's not the rigor of the work she cannot handle. She just won't do anything.

Not even classwork! Or group classwork!

Since at the time of progress reports her grade was low across the board, we had a parent conference and explained what the problem was. There was tears, promises, and threats exchanged during that conference, but the next day, the very next day, she did not have her homework, nor even a pencil to do her work!

I know that parents are not at school with their children, and they cannot control their every movement. Speaking from experience, however, if I had tried any of the stuff this child is pulling (and I did have my own troubles with schooling), I would have been punished so severely I don't know if I'd remember my name.

But I digress.

Why would you ask what to do to improve her grade? Even if you had her do everything she was missing in all of her classes (which I would make her do, myself, if I was her parent, regardless of if she got credit for any of it... it would teach her that she can't get out of the work by being lazy), as a team, we don't accept late work. If we made a super-huge exception, and offered 1/2 credit, she still would be failing, since she didn't do her classwork and she failed her tests.

Not only the fact that it's too late, we told you when we met a very short time ago what to do to improve her grade, but nothing happened. It's too late. The grades are in. I am not going through the humongous hassle of submitting a grade change for your child since she did nothing all this 9 weeks and you knew she was doing nothing.

So I am confused as to what you want to happen.

Well, actually, I know you just want her to get a passing grade, as you've told us that. And I know you want us just want us to "make it work," which I am guessing means just give her the passing grade.

But I'm not going to do that, as it's not fair to the students who have worked their rears off this 9 weeks, and it's not fair to the teachers, who have tried to work with you, and it's not fair to the 7th grade teachers, who will get your child next year, unable to do 6th grade work, let alone be up to doing 7th grade work.

I'm sorry, but sometimes children just need to fail, and learn there is a consequence to failure. It's not polite to talk about, but it's true.

So let her fail, teach her how to change it, and move on.

And please don't ask me, again, to change her grade!

Open House is Coming!

In the next week, my school will be having Open House, which is a time for parents to come and meet their child's teachers, if they didn't come during Meet Your Teacher. Of course, it's also a chance for some parents to attack the teacher, if their child received a grade they feel was in error on the progress report that went home last week.

I am honestly afraid to check my school email, knowing there will be at least some emails from parents, complaining that I "gave" their child a bad grade.

Grrrr... It really bothers me when they ask why I gave their child a bad grade. I don't give grades! I only reflect what was earned. And in our school district, they really have no excuse for not knowing a bad grade is coming, because we have an online grade system that allows them to check their child's grade 24/7.

But I digress.

Anyway, some parents expect different things from Open House than we plan (or even are able) to give them, including the chance to dialogue one-on-one about their child. With 100+ students, this is just not possible. I guess in elementary school, it might work that way, giving each parent a chance to have a brief chat with the teacher, while the other parents view the classroom and the stuff posted around the room. But if I spent just one minute with each set of parents, that's coming up on 2 hours, and that's how long the entire thing lasts.

What Open House essentially is supposed to be is a chance for the parents to see the classrooms now that the kids are in them and hear the teacher go through what the students do on a daily basis. They can see where their child sits, check out the textbooks, and see the teacher that their child has been praising or condemning for the past 5 weeks.

Previous years have seen crazy things done by parents (and their children as they watch).

Examples:

• Last year, a mom brought all of her children to Open House. There were many of them. (Which is fine; I understand you don't want to get a babysitter for this time, and big families are fun, and I'm not complaining about the size). Most noticeable, however, was the smallest one, who was right around 1 year old. She was bored, so she screamed and cried through my entire presentation. I am not talking little baby-noises; I'm talking five-alarm fire-type noises. The other parents were glaring at her something fierce, but she just smiled indulgently at the baby.
• A parent told me that I was not helping her child with his writing, and I needed to be working harder. Then she told me she was checking over everything I grade and hand back, so I need to be careful. Then she told me that she doesn't see how my reading logs (the homework my kids do every single night) are helping with his writing. I told her that reading logs are to help improve reading, not writing. At this point, I was supposed to have started my presentation. I was feeling quite freaked out, when one of the dads (not her husband, either) made the woman sit down and be quiet. On his way out, he apologized for her behavior. I was so grateful.
• One parent sat through my entire presentation, then asked if I was the math teacher. To make it worse, they then tell me their child is on a different team. Were you not listening to anything I said?? I also have our team name posted everywhere.
• One of my students apparently forgot that I have rules, and climbed on top of my of my desks. I usually don't like to correct students in front of their parents, because I feel when they're with them, it's their job, and I don't want to overstep my boundaries. Not this time.

It is fun, though, now that I am no longer completely freaked out at the thought of meeting parents. I get to see the kids in a different setting, usually as they're being proud to be the ones who know what's going on, since they are the ones who know where their classes are, and how the school day works, etc.

Well, here's hoping it all goes well!

Confusion...

Today, I am wondering about parents. And about what is honestly going through their minds as they're doing some of the things that drive teachers crazy.

I got a new student this week. It's the fourth week of school, and I just got a new student.


Getting a new student isn't unusual; just like in most schools (with the exception of small town-type schools), we have a relatively high turn over, and we get new students pretty regularly. We sometimes even get kids from other teams due to a schedule conflict or a personality conflict among kids or even among the teachers and the kids. However, this student was not a kid who had moved from another state, school district, team, or anything else like that.

No, this child just hadn't started school.

Apparently, they didn't know when school started. When asked why she was late starting to school, she told us that her parents had thought school started the day she came.

What?? How could you honestly not know when your child is supposed to start school? It's not like they just moved here; she's gone to school in our county since 2nd grade (I asked her).

It's not like our county is secretive. In fact, we have advertising campaigns about going back to school that costs big bucks to put on.

And even if you didn't know when your child was supposed to start school, wouldn't you call the school and find out? They should know the month of school starting, at least, since it hasn't changed in all the time she's going to school here, so at least 4 years.

Now she's really behind, because even though we haven't gotten into the full swing of things yet, the kids all know how to do all the things I expect of them, so she just feels awkward.

All the little lunch groups are formed. All the little cliques. All the little love-hate drama.

She has essentially been put at a disadvantage, which is just not fair of her parents. She's a sweet kid, and this makes me sad.

Why, parents... why??

It boggles the mind.

Meet the Teacher 2007

Well, I have survived (barely) this year's Meet the Teacher. It wasn't as bad as my first year, where I was trapped. I was able to sit down for a few minutes a few times, and rest my feet, and I remembered to bring a drink this time, so I wasn't dying of thirst.

I think, though, with my classroom a little ways down the hall from the rest of my team, some parents didn't find me. Not complaining, though!

Of course, barely 2 hours after the parents left, I received my very first email of the year.

Wow. They don't waste time, do they?

I saw lots of my kids from last year, and it was very nice to see most of them. They are all excited and thrilled to see me.

Some of them look so old I can't even believe it. What happened in the two months since I saw them? Did they eat more because they were just at home? Or is it that amazing growth spurt that happens between 12 and 13?

Some of the bizarre/funny/notable things that happened today:

-A parent introduced their child to me, but gives me the wrong name. The kid then reintroduces himself.

-Parents arguing as they were talking to me. i.e. "You don't have to be so rude to me!" "Don't be stupid!" to each other, then asking about my curriculum.

-A child walked into my room and starting going through the stuff on my desk. Like, my personal stuff. Like picking up my keys and the phone.

-All kids and parents have gum. This is going to be a year we battle gum.

-Most of the little 6th grade girls were breaking dress code... little spaghetti straps, short skirts...

-One parent told me all about her child, and how he has an IEP, and on and on, and ON, and I finally asked who her child was, and she pointed him out. Then I asked about his schedule, so she showed me, and he wasn't even on my team!

-I have two siblings (that I met today) of kids I've had before. One of them did start to cry, though, because she didn't want to be on my team (not because of me, but she loves the other team's language arts teacher...) (At least, I hope her brother wasn't telling tales...)

It was a crazy day, it really was.

Something else I found highly amusing today was listening to one of the new teachers at my school describe his day. This is his first year teaching kids (he's taught college and stuff) and he wasn't sure what to expect. He's also from England, and has an accent (of course). The little 6th grade girls were almost melting, just listening to him talk. He said one of the girls who was going to be in his class just stared at him, then left and brought 2 friends, and then they all stared at him. Then they started giggling (if you've been around a middle grades girl, you'll know exactly what I mean by giggling.) When he asked them what they wanted, they just told him he talks "funny" and they want to hear him talk.

I said, well, at least you'll be sure the girls are listening to you when you give them directions.

It's an almost unfair advantage over the rest of us.

Signs of the Time

There are always signs that appear to warn teachers that summer is coming to an end. Some we look for are meet with anticipation, but others just cause us to sigh and try to adjust our summer sleep schedules to make sure we can get up early again.

Here are some signs to look for as a sure way to know that the new school year is coming...

• Parents you see in public places are looking really frazzled.
• Their kids look rested and full of energy and mischief.
• Stores stock massive amounts of pencils, paper, glue sticks, and markers. Massive and scary amounts.
• Those same stores place those massive stocks directly in the aisles so you cannot possibly miss them.
• Some stores, however, after placing the items directly in the aisles still place cute little "foot prints" and signs on the ground so you can follow them to the supplies.
• You still hear parents asking where the school supplies are.
• You pay your bills and notice you have lesson than you expected to have, and work sums in your head to see if you'll make it (you should, as long as you've planned well, but still...)
• You start getting more emails at your school email address, with "updates" from administration.
• You get a letter at home from your principal reminding you that they expect to see you bright and early on the first day of pre-planning. Don't forget to bring your winning attitudes and good ideas.
• You also start getting emails from the parents of your students from the previous year, asking you to "use your influence" to get their child placed on a good team. (I think to myself, what influence?)
• The school supply areas in stores begin to get mobbed, by large amounts of bickering children and parents, all trying to "just get what we need!"
• You notice that everything school-related is once again tax-free for a limited time.
• Every place, everywhere you go has "Back to School" specials, even when they have nothing to do with school. At all. Even at a stretch.
• Teachers start trying to get into their classroom so they can get ready (it's hard to do it in only 2 days allotted in pre-planning!). This is tricky, as administration doesn't want to spend their day opening the door for teachers. (I have found some hiding in strange places, hoping you can't find them.)
• You wake up in the morning, thinking of the perfect way to drive a point home on a lesson you taught last year, and wishing you had thought of it at the time.
• You know you will never remember that point when you're teaching the same concept again.

And all these signs tell me school is coming swiftly.

Yay?

Ask Your Child!

I recently received an email from one of my parents from last year (since we're in summer, I have relinquished all claim to those kids and anticipate new kids with relish). In it, she asks me why I gave her child, little miss perfect, an F for the final 9 weeks. Why did I not tell her this was coming? Why was her progress report grade so good (if you call a D good, because I don't) if she is now failing? Plus, she copied the principal, guessing I'd respond more quickly if I saw that the principal knows about this issue. (I don't care, honestly. I have an AWESOME principal who understands how these things work).

Why do they do this? Ask why I gave their child a failing grade? I didn't give your child anything. They earned it.

This happens quite often. I guess it shouldn't surprise me anymore, but it does. The number one question I want to ask, before even looking to see why the child has the F, is "Did you ask your child why they earned the F?"

90% of the time, they will say no. Asking the kid sitting at the dinner table, riding in their car, standing in front of them begging for something, does not even occur to them. Instead, they will go out of their way to accost a teacher. I have been chased down in the grocery store, Target, the school parking lot (where they were WAITING FOR ME, which brings to mind a whole new level of obsessed parents), all to ask why little Johnny or little Suzie is failing.

ASK JOHNNY! He'll know. I promise, he'll know.

To be fair, even if they DO ask their child, the child will (in self-preservation) respond with "I have no idea, Mommy! I do alllllll my work! I don't think she likes me!"

But I digress.

The parent that contacted me waited 3 weeks after the report card had come out. I was definitely not going to school any more... I was freed. I don't have access to my gradebook at home. Was she hoping I'd say, "Oh, I don't know, let me change that?" I simply told her that I didn't have access to my gradebook so I would not be able to tell her exactly what the grade break down was, but I do remember that this student did not read her book that she was assigned for her project, wrote a pathetic book report on the book she didn't read, didn't do any of the other parts of the project, and was out for 2 weeks right at the end for a "vacation."

The best part? I was able to tell her that I had taken her child aside and told her that she was going to fail the final 9 weeks (I had warned the kids if they skipped or skimped on the project, they would fail, no way around it). I told her to make sure she told her mother why she failed. I said, I don't want to get an email this summer from your mother claiming you have no idea why you failed.

Ah, the joys of 12-year-olds as they fib their way through life.

2nd Week Troubles

This story I’m posting today comes from my very first month of teacher… and just goes to show exactly how parents have become somewhat demanding when it comes to their child’s education. Maybe it was always that way, but somehow I can’t see my grandfather going up to the school and trying what this parent did… instead, he would have just slapped my mother and moved on. It’s hard not to miss those days, even if I wasn’t alive during them.

I sent home an assignment, very simple, where each student had to read for 30 minutes or 30 pages, whichever came first, then answer one question on the sheet I provided. They had 7 days they had to do it in, but were only required to read 5 days… I had even built in days off! However, the directions that were printed on the sheet were incorrect. It was only my second week ever teaching, and somehow, the papers I had dropped off to be copied had ended up in someone else’s box, and I apparently had that person’s. Their assignment was easier than mine, but since it was a Gifted class, I didn’t want them reading as little as the paper called for, so I had them change the directions. I had 3 classes that I had change the directions, and I left it as it was on the paper for the regular classes.

ALL my students, in those three classes, managed the following week, to turn in the assignment as I had asked. Except one. When I graded the assignment and sent it home, one of my little darlings had followed the printed directions, because he didn’t copy down the directions as I had asked. Mom was displeased about his low grade. So, she sent me an email at 8:30 in the morning. I began to write back my response, but the kids came in, etc, etc, and I hadn’t managed to send a response at 9:25 when I had to go and open the door and welcome the kids. Mom was displeased that I hadn’t answered… never mind that we had 48 hours as dictated by county policy. Never mind that I have to… oh, I don’t know, keep my classes busy. She was tired of waiting, at 10:00, so she called the school and asked to be transferred to my room. She apparently lied, because they told me later they tried to transfer her, because she claimed to be… get this… my mother, and it was an emergency.

Since the phone in my lovely portable didn’t work 99% of the time, the transfer didn’t work, so she called my boss, the 6th grade administrator. When he didn’t answer immediately, she called the principal of the entire school. She called my administrator, who called me to ask what was up. Surprisingly, the phone worked, and I was confused. I told him that I wasn’t ignoring her email, but she had only sent it 1 and ½ hours ago, and I had to teach, and I didn’t have my planning until 5th (essentially not until 2 p.m.).

After all that (getting me in “trouble” with the principal of the whole school in my 2nd week!), I sent her an email explaining her son didn’t follow directions, he was the only one, etc, etc. She said that since it wasn’t on the paper, I can’t grade him on that, so I need to re-grade the assignment today, change the grade, and email her the new grade with her son’s updated classroom grade. When I refused, she called my boss. Again.

I knew right then and there that teaching was going to be a crazy trip.